Grand Master (GM) - Holy MFT
The head hasher. The chairman of the board. The big cheese. The HMFIC. The guiding light. Gispert's legacy. The GM is not simply a figure head for the hash, rather he personifies the hash's character (or lack thereof.) He leads with a dynamic strength that permeates the fabric of the organization. Both directly, and through the hash officers, he gives inspiration, direction, and vision to all. This position ranks only below Beer Meister, Religious Advisor, Hash Cash, Song Meister, Hash Flash, Haberdasher and Web Wanker in real importance to the hash.
Religious Adviser - Sheewee Herman
The RA is the arbiter of hash tradition and master of ceremonies at the on-in. When in the circle, the RA is always right, even when wrong. Other than presiding over the circle, the RA is responsible to ensure that deserving thirsts are quenched; they are fully responsible for the weather and the taste of the beer.
Beer Meister (BM) - Socradeez Nuts
This is unquestionably the most important position in the hash. The Beer Meister has the weighty responsibility of making sure that the lifeblood of hashing is available at each and every hash event. He keeps constant vigilance to find the cheapest spirituous fermenti available. While this might be a "pain in the ass" job, it's undoubtedly the most important one to the hash.
The Hare Razor IS the hare if he can't find anyone else to do it.
Web Wanker - Miss Piss
The masochists dream. This hasher struggles with the influx of often competing information from Hares, HareRazor, GM, RA, and other members of the kennel, misinterprets that information and posts it all on the web for all to find and rely upon.
Logistical Disaster - Cold Pussy
The lazy hashers wet dream. This position requires 10 minutes of actual work a week when done properly. That being said, for some reason this hasher generally waits until the last minute to organize anything.
Hash Flash - Full Facial
The person who captures on film for posterity all embarrassing hash moments. The hash flash must have an acute sense of the absurd to know what to take photos of, and also a small degree of reliability to bring a camera, take pictures, upload, and put only the finest thereof into the sacred photo album of the internet. Should be on at least speaking terms with the Web Wanker.
(S)He's responsible for the design, procurement, warehousing and selling as many as possible, items of apparel and various trinkets at the highest prices to the biggest suckers.
With a lack of help at this position, these duties revert to the rest of Mismanagement (some of which rattle off prices that are ridiculously high, or even worse, incorrectly low)
Song Meister - (Position Open)
This hasher has zero self respect. (S)He never lacks for a song suitable to the occasion. Songs are risqué, lewd, rude and vulgar. The Song Meister talks to hashers and other hash kennels to acquire songs to add to the hymnal.