Hash Rules:
1. No whining.
2. There is no rule #2.
3. See rule 1.
4. No Stealing (see hereunder - definition of stealing):
Stealing - the covert removal of another Hasher's property with the intention of depriving said hasher of such property for an indefinete period of time.
5. No stealing, but borrowing is okay (see hereunder the definition of borrowing):
Borrowing - the act of covert temporary removal of another Hasher's propertye (property in this instance is confined to items of a portable nature and directly related to hashing such as mugs). At all times the property borrowed is held for a relatively short period of time and always returned in good order. Often such property is enhanced by suitable engravings to record for posterity the guile of the borrower. Borrowing is a complex issue and where any doubt exists, Mismanagement should be consulted.
6. Rain is not permitted during Hash Runs. The Religous Advisor is personally responsible for ensuring that fine conditions prevail for a period of not less than one hour each Saturday from 3:00 to 6:00 pm.
7. No tax collectors.
8. No discrimination. Unemployed, dogs, women, criminals, disabled, nymphomaniacs, hashers from Guangzhou, and even lawyers are all encouraged to join the Hash. Alcoholics are particularly welcome. Athletes, dogs and children, whilst permitted to run, can never aspire to become the Grand Master.
9. Down-Downs may not be declined, but alternative beverages or showing of skin may be allowed at the discretion of the Religious Advisor (or Designate).
10. No competitiveness.
11. No training. Persons caught training will be deemed to have breached rule 11 and will be liable to a charge. A range of activities may be interpreted as training, and for guidance the following non-exaustive list is provided:
a) running other than during official Hash Runs, or Hash Event;
b) cycling (fornication on a push bike is exempt);
c) visiting a gymnasium for any other purpose than perving on the aerobics class;
d) using the stairs while escalators are available;
e) wearing of competitive clothing at the hash;
f) new shoes wll not be tolerated. Really!
12. All Hashers must commit to memory rules 1, 2, 3, 10 and 17 and be able to recite them at any hour of the day or night regardless of their state of inebriation.
13. No fighting at the Hash. This rule is absolute and the entire culture of the Hash relies on strict adherence to this rule. If a fellow Hasher causes you immense dispeleasure by stealing your car or impregnating your daughter (wives are exempt) then belt the shit out of him at some other place and time. Saturday is a day of reverence an tranquility.
14. Bikes and Dikes OK.
15. Other rules may be enacted by Mismanagement as they see fit.
16. Amendments to Rules 1, 3, 6, 8, 9, 11, 13, and 17 are illegal.
17. There are no rules.
Note:
Beastiality is not covered in these Rules due to the proliferation of Aussie Hashers. As this item is not incorporated in Hash Rules, all behavior covered by the above note is subject to determination by Mismanagement.
Disrespectfully submitted by HMFT (this entire document was plagarized from an infinite number of sources...)